INTOTHEBEST, Inc. Scholarship Finalist Meagan Kurnat
Congratulations to Meagan Kurnat from Lakeview High School
It was difficult selecting 4 finalists from 1,500 applications. There were many strong essays.
Do I want Skittles or Life Savers? Ahh the choices, life is filled with them. Every day we have to make certain decisions big and small, and those choices determine the type of people we will become. If I had to choose between being liked or being respected by the individuals around me, I would much rather be respected.
When I was nine, my family was forced to move from an inner-city apartment to a small town farm. I quickly became best friends with my new next-door neighbor, Sara. We were inseparable up until the tenth grade. Sara began hanging around a group of people who were quite different from her and myself. I began seeing less and less of her, until my best friend Sara became just the girl next door. One night, Sara and her new friends decided to go out for a night on the town. They were drinking and using drugs when the driver suddenly lost control. The car carrying the five teens smashed into a tree and caught fire. All of the teens were killed instantly.
Sara chose to use drugs simply because she wanted to be liked. Her innocent mistake cost her her life. Sara should have stood up for herself and said no. She may have lost some friends, but she would have been respected for her decision and might still be alive today. So many teens today choose popularity and friends versus saying no to things they don't want to do. Being respected by those around me and ultimately respecting myself is the choice I made back in tenth grade and is the choice I will continue to make from this day on.
How IntotheBest's Essay Advice Helped Meagan
I omitted words in some areas to take care of wordiness. I also added to my introduction to make the essay grab the reader's attention. I had a punctuation error that caused the sentence to be a run-on. I also had one sentence that wasn't parallel (apartment and neighborhood=apartment and farm). Overall, I feel that my essay has improved a great deal. It's not always the huge things that make the biggest difference.