GMAT Preparation Sample Essay AWA
Consumer debt is not necessarily linked directly with unhappiness in a population. There are four things the author could do to strengthen their argument. Comparing consumer assets to consumer debt, explaining the rationale behind the conclusion that high levels of debt lead to unhappiness, research that shows the unhappiness level of the population, and a description of the other current events that might be causing unhappiness.
Consumer debt may be an indication that people have money to spend or have money in investments, but choose to take debt instead of selling their investments. Rich people borrow against their assets. If someone can make 10% on an investment and borrow money for 5%, then it makes sense to borrow money instead of selling the investment. Bankers don't lend money if they don't think people have the means to pay them back. Bankers are very risk averse. So the ability to borrow may indicate that the majority of the population has income to cover their debt payments. These include showing the other side of the balance sheet, consumer assets and comparing that to consumer debt. As long as assets are greater than debt, and the difference between income and expenses is positive, high levels of debt are okay since the consumer will be able to meet their obligations.
Marketers usually make people think that spending money and having "stuff" makes people happy. In which case, having a high level of consumer debt may indicate that people have a lot of "stuff" which should make them happy. In reality, happiness is based on more than material things.
Poor Richard's Almanac wrote that "Spend less than you earn, happy, spend more than you earn, unhappy." In that case, people may be spending more than they earn and they may be unhappy as a result, but the statement from the social policy journal does not indicate what analysis went on to conclude that because consumer debt is at an all-time high that most people in Bahgania are unhappy.
Research about the happiness level of the population would strengthen the argument if it showed that people were indeed unhappy and if their unhappiness was caused by their high consumer debt level. Doing some historical research to show that high levels of consumer debt are correlated with unhappiness in other populations might strengthen the argument, but it still wouldn't show the causal relationship in Bahgania without surveying a sample of the population and finding that the people are unhappy because of their high debt levels.
It is possible that the majority of the population was unhappy for another reason. After terrorist attacks on the U.S., the majority of the population of the U.S. was afraid and not happy, but it had nothing to do with our level of savings or consumer debt. When the Yankees lost the American League championship to the Boston Red Sox, Yankee fans were unhappy, but Boston fans were ecstatic. This too had nothing to do with consumer debt levels.
After reviewing and adding the previous suggestions to the statement, the reader would be able to draw their own conclusions about the relationship between unhappiness and consumer debt.
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